Feb 11, 2013 12:57
11 yrs ago
5 viewers *
French term

vous bouscule

Non-PRO French to English Marketing General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters
Contexte : brochure d'une agence de communication (xxx). Un concept marketing basé sur les bulles, l'effervescence, la pétillance...

La pétillance de xxx c’est sa fraîcheur, son énergie et sa passion. L’effervescence créative de xxx vous étonne, vous enchante. Et souvent vous bouscule un peu. Vous aimez l’eau qui pétille ? xxx vous offre du champagne.

Pragmatisme
Le pragmatisme de xxx, c’est sa tête bien vissée sur ses épaules. Si tout est possible et que les créatifs ne s’interdisent rien, tout est réalisable. La tête dans les étoiles et les pieds bien sur Terre, l’agence sait où elle va et elle vous y emmène.

Comment pourrait-on traduire "vous bouscule un peu" ?

xxx sparkles with freshness, energy and passion. The creative effervescence of xxx surprises and enchants you. And often stirs you up a bit. Do you like sparkling water? xxx offers Champagne.
Change log

Feb 11, 2013 13:34: Lara Barnett changed "Level" from "PRO" to "Non-PRO"

Votes to reclassify question as PRO/non-PRO:

PRO (1): David Goward

Non-PRO (3): John Holland, Sheila Wilson, Lara Barnett

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Discussion

philgoddard Feb 11, 2013:
Agree with Nikki. The translation is too literal for a creative text like this.
Nikki Scott-Despaigne Feb 11, 2013:
I am pretty sure that it would be unusual for a native speaker to sue "enchant"; it might give a more natural reading if you used "enchanting" or "enchanted" and changed the sentence round a little.

If I understand your situation, you generally translate into French. If this particular piece is being done professionally, not just for fun, it would be a good idea to have the final version proof-read by a native speaker of English.
John Holland Feb 11, 2013:
@EA Traduction What translations have you considered? What aspect of the phrase is causing you difficulties?

Proposed translations

+8
36 mins
Selected

takes you by surprise

There are a number of possibilities here of course. It all depends on how you have expressed the rest.

As a suggestion for the sentence :

"Et souvent vous bouscule un peu,"

I would try something along the lines of :

"And often takes you by surprise too".

That said, I still find my suggestion a little too literal. I'd probably run this sentence into the one before it.

" L’effervescence créative de xxx vous étonne, vous enchante. Et souvent vous bouscule un peu."

might become

"You will be astonished and enchanted by XXX's sparkling/bright creativity (creativeness); you may even be taken by surprise."

That is by no means perfect, but just to give you an idea. I think you should not hesitate to change word order and even roll two ideas into one. The French version is very French and you may well need to take a little distance with this type of writing and context for the English version to be authentic.
Peer comment(s):

agree Lara Barnett
0 min
agree Jennifer Taylor
12 mins
agree Jenn Mercer
29 mins
agree Yvonne Gallagher : yes, good idea to roll two sentences together as well
50 mins
agree Miranda Joubioux (X)
1 hr
agree susan debbbat
1 hr
agree Verginia Ophof
1 hr
agree kashew
2 hrs
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Selected automatically based on peer agreement."
+2
9 mins

(and often) shakes you up/surprises you

Here are two choices depending on how much you want to stay with the literal meaning of "bousculer"
Peer comment(s):

agree Yvonne Gallagher : in the meaning of animate/enliven/stimulate etc (continue down the synonyms http://www.thefreedictionary.com/shake up
11 mins
Thank you.
neutral Lara Barnett : "shakes you up" is a literal translation in some context, but is the wrong idea here.// How is "shakes you up" a positive thing?/ "6. To disturb or agitate; unnerve: She was shaken by the news of the disaster" http://www.thefreedictionary.com/shaken up
28 mins
I totally disagree./ "shakes up" is not limited to negative connotations. It can mean "changes one's perspective/changes one's notions/changes one's views." I included the "surprises you" as an option if "shakes you up" was too strong for the context
agree Daryo : "shakes you up" IS the idea in the ST - it can be for sure seen as a positive thing as it makes you look at something in a different way (wasn't that the point of marketing anyway?) Boring ads producing results? Unlikely.
2 days 6 hrs
Thank you.
Something went wrong...
+1
9 mins

shake you up

Une suggestion :-)

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Note added at 10 mins (2013-02-11 13:07:32 GMT)
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shakes you up a (little) bit
Peer comment(s):

agree Yvonne Gallagher : yes, it can be a bit negative but here, where eveything is so fizzy and efferescent, I think it works
12 mins
Merci
neutral Lara Barnett : I think this has a negative connotation./// It is a very slight nuance, but it is there - English usage also important here.
27 mins
All right, I don't feel it that way, but you're the native speaker :-). Juste une petite remarque: bousculer en français a égelement une petite note négative.
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+1
11 mins

surprises you

I understand it as it will throw you off your guard, stirr you up, be something unexpected... but these all sound a bit negative. Which is why I would opt for "surprise". I know you already have "surprise" as a translation for "étonner", but I would replace that with "amaze": "It will amaze and enchant you. Sometimes even surprise you".
Peer comment(s):

agree Lara Barnett : In English this is the meaning. "shakes you up" is definitely too negative here and out of context.
24 mins
Something went wrong...
2 hrs

mix things up

Here's a none-too-literal rendering that might stir up some other ideas :-)
I'm finding that the French impersonal (la société X vous offre blah blah blah) is often better rendered by the 3rd pers. pl. in English.
Example sentence:

We're bubbling over with life, brio and passion. We love to concoct new and wonderful ideas - and often to mix things up a bit. Like sparkling water? Then take a sip of our champagne!

We're bubbling over with life, energy and passion. We love to concoct new and wonderful ideas, and to mix things up a bit - or a lot. Like sparkling water? Then you've got to try our champagne!

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+2
2 hrs

jolt you

*

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Note added at 2 heures (2013-02-11 15:48:49 GMT)
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a : to disturb the composure of : shock <crudely jolted out of that mood — Virginia Woolf>
b : to interfere with roughly, abruptly, and disconcertingly <determination to pursue his own course was jolted badly — F. L. Paxson>

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Note added at 2 heures (2013-02-11 15:50:24 GMT)
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a bit more positive than shake?
Peer comment(s):

agree gkshenaut : I like this better than “surprise”, which seems redundant in the phrase. Perhaps mitigate it: “it even jolts you a little”.
13 hrs
agree Yolanda Broad
2 days 23 hrs
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3 hrs

makes you know you're alive

Hello,

I wouldn't use "surprise" as it's already been used (étonner); and to me, it's not quite the same thing, either.

It has a more positive notion here, although "bousculer" is usually used negatively.

bousculer (here, imho) = déranger quelqu'un dans ses occupations = to jolt/animate = to make you know you're alive (in this particular context)

http://www.cnrtl.fr/definition/bousculer


Prices are good, ambiance is down-home, and the quality of the food is second to none. If you want a real American breakfast that makes you know you're alive,
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&tbo=d&sclient=psy-ab&q...


I hope this helps.

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Note added at 25 days (2013-03-09 00:52:17 GMT) Post-grading
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Delightful mouthfuls of soft fizz. This family-owned ... in the sea. Very fine bubbles. ... and mandarin fruits. So fresh it's exciting to drink and makes you feel alive

http://thetablecafe.com/menus/wine-list


I would also translate "un peu" by "somewhat" here in English.

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Note added at 25 days (2013-03-09 00:53:37 GMT) Post-grading
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Perhaps say "enlivens the senses to some degree"
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