| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3 4 5 6] > | Etiquette: thanking everyone who agrees with you Thread poster: JeffFish (X)
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Yolanda Broad 
United States
Local time: 19:52
Member (2000)
French to English
+ ...
MODERATOR | Cultural divide | Mar 3, 2005 |
By which I mean Internet culture: there are Internet communities where thank yous are considered an absolute must, and others where they are considered an abuse of e-mail kilobytes. When I see those thank yous in response to some agrees, I assume that the thankers (should I say ThankerZ?) come from the first culture.
Fortunately, we have room for both cultures on this site. And if you're worried about extra e-mail, just deactivate the agree notification function in your profile... See more By which I mean Internet culture: there are Internet communities where thank yous are considered an absolute must, and others where they are considered an abuse of e-mail kilobytes. When I see those thank yous in response to some agrees, I assume that the thankers (should I say ThankerZ?) come from the first culture.
Fortunately, we have room for both cultures on this site. And if you're worried about extra e-mail, just deactivate the agree notification function in your profile. ▲ Collapse
| | | | | Extremly altruistic | Mar 3, 2005 |
When an answerer thanks an agreer because his information (even a simple "agree") will help the asker to make his decision, I think this answerer to be either extremly altruistic, or he missed the point...
| | | | Michele Fauble
United States
Local time: 16:52
Member (2006)
Norwegian to English
+ ...
| Saying thank you is nice. | Mar 3, 2005 |
I thank those who respond to my answers (whether agrees, disagrees, or neutrals) because they have taken the time to consider my answer and give me feedback. And also because I consider it polite.
Michele Fauble
| | | | Andy Watkinson
Spain
Local time: 01:52
Member
Catalan to English
+ ...
| It's ironical that we're having a debate about how polite one should be! | Mar 3, 2005 |
My thoughts entirely, Angela.
And Kim also has the annoying habit of writing my posts before I do.
I almost always thank people for taking the time to say "Yep, I think you're right" and also, as Claudia mentions, say "Sorry" or words to that effect, when disagreeing with someone.
Maybe I was "brung up" wrong.
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| I try to make time to do it | Mar 3, 2005 |
If someone takes the time/trouble to enter a comment on my suggestion, I feel this should be acknowledged. And I like it when I get responses back, especially if they're witty, or personalised. I feel it makes this sometime quite thankless and isolating job a bit more friendly! After all, if I was in an office and supported someone's suggestion at a meeting, it would be nice to have them acknowledge that; it's just...social interaction.
Oh to have reached the dizzy heights of having... See more If someone takes the time/trouble to enter a comment on my suggestion, I feel this should be acknowledged. And I like it when I get responses back, especially if they're witty, or personalised. I feel it makes this sometime quite thankless and isolating job a bit more friendly! After all, if I was in an office and supported someone's suggestion at a meeting, it would be nice to have them acknowledge that; it's just...social interaction.
Oh to have reached the dizzy heights of having too many people to thank! ▲ Collapse
| | | | Lia Fail (X)
Spain
Local time: 01:52
Spanish to English
+ ...
| an automatism | Mar 4, 2005 |
Elvira Stoianov wrote:
Even more so, because each "thank you" means one more email message.
I think it's not even a matter of being polite or not, it's more an automatism.
However, if other people want to do it, I don't think you can blame them for that. But sometimes I also find it excessive.
Yes, an automatism, a bit like sending an electronic card, it is much more meaningful to go out and buy a card, an envelope and stamp, write a personal few lines, then go out again and post it...
It's easy to stick in a thank you but the sheer ease of it simply renders it pretty meaningless.
I think gratefulness is highly personal anyway, just becuase a person doesn't click and add a 'facile' thank you doesn't mean they are not at all grateful. I personally don't reply to every email in which someone confirms that they have sorted something for me with an emailed 'thank you', unless I have something additional to say, or the effort was in some way special. It feels a bit dumb, a bit like a girl wanting her girlfriend to see her to her door, and then who sees the girlfriend to HER door?
When I am REALLY grateful I write a personal email to someone..
| | | | Alaa Zeineldine
Egypt
Local time: 02:52
Member (2002)
English to Arabic
+ ...
| Which is less polite, or more impolite? | Mar 4, 2005 |
I don't think, as some suggest, that we are having a debate about how polite should we be. Of course we should be polite, the question is: is it polite to thank only those who agree with you.
Edward's demonstration made the issue very clear: http://www.proz.com/post/208934#208934, the message is basically "if you do not agree with me, well then, you do not belong."
The e... See more I don't think, as some suggest, that we are having a debate about how polite should we be. Of course we should be polite, the question is: is it polite to thank only those who agree with you.
Edward's demonstration made the issue very clear: http://www.proz.com/post/208934#208934, the message is basically "if you do not agree with me, well then, you do not belong."
The email traffic issue is beside the point. If someone indeed does thank all respondents, those who agree or disagree politely, that is surely nice. Otherwise, the real question becomes: is it polite not to thank those are giving me a sincere evaluation of my answer when they don't support my opinion? I am sure not thanking anyone is much less impolite.
Alaa
[Edited at 2005-03-04 00:37] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Gina W
United States
Local time: 19:52
Member (2003)
French to English
| Regarding "agrees" and "thank yous" | Mar 4, 2005 |
Yes, it is polite to say thank you, and it is perhaps our natural tendency when someone posts an "agree". But it does seem silly, in a way, because this is not a popularity contest, as far as I know, it is professional collaboration. That is not to say that people on this thread who point out what I just stated have a problem, per se, with the "thank yous", it's perhaps just something people are remarking is a bit odd, and curious.
And a bit off-topic, but on the topic of "agree... See more Yes, it is polite to say thank you, and it is perhaps our natural tendency when someone posts an "agree". But it does seem silly, in a way, because this is not a popularity contest, as far as I know, it is professional collaboration. That is not to say that people on this thread who point out what I just stated have a problem, per se, with the "thank yous", it's perhaps just something people are remarking is a bit odd, and curious.
And a bit off-topic, but on the topic of "agrees" - I noticed in at least one case, the attitude seemed to be that I was obligated to award the points to the person who had the most people "agree". But all those people posting "agree" did not make that response the best and most useful for me.
And regarding "thank yous", when one is the asker...I always post 'thank you' more than once and sincerely, and I have gotten the distinct impression that some people couldn't care less if I thank them if they don't get their points. But I doubt I'll stop with this anyway, somehow, it's in my nature.
Anyway, whether or not other people want to acknowledge it, the person who started this thread brought up an interesting little detail, something that he is not the only one who finds it curious. I don't think it's wrong to point out that this is a trend on KudoZ. ▲ Collapse
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"And regarding "thank yous", when one is the asker...I always post 'thank you' more than once and sincerely, and I have gotten the distinct impression that some people couldn't care less if I thank them if they don't get their points. But I doubt I'll stop with this anyway, somehow, it's in my nature."
Thanks, gad, my sentiments exactly. I enjoy the little comments of support (or disapproval), I get to know the person behind the name a little better and I enjoy the occasional giggl... See more "And regarding "thank yous", when one is the asker...I always post 'thank you' more than once and sincerely, and I have gotten the distinct impression that some people couldn't care less if I thank them if they don't get their points. But I doubt I'll stop with this anyway, somehow, it's in my nature."
Thanks, gad, my sentiments exactly. I enjoy the little comments of support (or disapproval), I get to know the person behind the name a little better and I enjoy the occasional giggle some thank-yous evoke. It makes me (and others too, I believe) lighten up, forget about deadline-worries and rent payment, and it brings a smile to my face on more than numerous occasions. So, what more could I want? I certainly won't stop saying thank you. Thank you! ▲ Collapse
| | | | Klaus Herrmann
Germany
Local time: 01:52
Member (2002)
English to German
+ ...
| An occasional thank you doesn't hurt | Mar 4, 2005 |
I'm not as lucky as TonyTK, I have to shave and shower before work because I'm not alone in the office. Still, I'm in favor the occasional 'thank you' or 'good morning' as part of a community-building effort. I'd rather contribute to a community where 'thank you' sets the tone, not silence and a "You don't know sh**" as a disagree. My office doesn't get less professional because there is a painting on the wall and a few flowers. By the same token, KudoZ doesn't get less professional if there is ... See more I'm not as lucky as TonyTK, I have to shave and shower before work because I'm not alone in the office. Still, I'm in favor the occasional 'thank you' or 'good morning' as part of a community-building effort. I'd rather contribute to a community where 'thank you' sets the tone, not silence and a "You don't know sh**" as a disagree. My office doesn't get less professional because there is a painting on the wall and a few flowers. By the same token, KudoZ doesn't get less professional if there is a friendly atmosphere, even at the cost of an additional email. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Steffen Walter
Germany
Local time: 01:52
Member (2002)
English to German
+ ...
| Agree entirely, Klaus ... | Mar 4, 2005 |
Klaus Herrmann wrote:
I'm not as lucky as TonyTK, I have to shave and shower before work because I'm not alone in the office. Still, I'm in favor the occasional 'thank you' or 'good morning' as part of a community-building effort. I'd rather contribute to a community where 'thank you' sets the tone, not silence and a "You don't know sh**" as a disagree. My office doesn't get less professional because there is a painting on the wall and a few flowers. By the same token, KudoZ doesn't get less professional if there is a friendly atmosphere, even at the cost of an additional email.
... nuff said
Re. "even at the cost of an additional email", you can easily turn off the related notification.
Steffen
| | | | JeffFish (X)
Local time: 01:52
German to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER | Some people have gone off-topic with this | Mar 4, 2005 |
To Klaus, Steffen, et al,
I'm not saying that nobody should thank anybody under any circumstances. I specifically said that I find it normal - indeed, I would even expect - that the asker thank the answerers and others who contribute to resolving a question.
What I find odd (others have called it sycophantic and ingratiating) is for an answerer to thank everyone who agrees with that answerer's answer through the response function, even if those agreeing haven't a... See more To Klaus, Steffen, et al,
I'm not saying that nobody should thank anybody under any circumstances. I specifically said that I find it normal - indeed, I would even expect - that the asker thank the answerers and others who contribute to resolving a question.
What I find odd (others have called it sycophantic and ingratiating) is for an answerer to thank everyone who agrees with that answerer's answer through the response function, even if those agreeing haven't added anything constructive to the discussion, aside from their agreement. IMHO, this is a waste of space, time, and server resources - if only because I have to scroll down a larger screen with all the extra "thank you" lines.
A side issue is whether it is "kosher" to only thank those who agree with you - I would say definitely not. If we could establish a "less is more" guideline - that is, encouraging people to only respond if it contributes to the discussion - this problem would solve itself.
I hope I've expressed myself clearly enough.
Best regards from Berlin,
Jeff Zalkind
[Edited at 2005-03-04 11:49] ▲ Collapse
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| I dont think its gone off-topic | Mar 4, 2005 |
Hey Jeff
I think some people think that it adds something of value to the community to express a "thank you" through the response function, even if you think its odd/meaningless/sycophantic/ingratiating.
Come on now, you wouldn't want everyone here to oddly/sycophantically/ingratiatingly agree with you, now would you?
| | | | Steffen Walter
Germany
Local time: 01:52
Member (2002)
English to German
+ ...
| A plea for common sense | Mar 4, 2005 |
JeffZ wrote:
... If we could establish a "less is more" guideline - that is, encouraging people to only respond if it contributes to the discussion - this problem would solve itself.
I hope I've expressed myself clearly enough.
Best regards from Berlin,
Jeff Zalkind
Hi Jeff,
I perfectly see where you're coming from but are you under the impression that this "sycophantic" or "ingratiating" behaviour happens that excessively that it would warrant a specific rule to be devised?
I'd rather let common sense rule here (isn't everything levelling out in the end?).
Best regards from (well, almost) Berlin,
Steffen
| | | | Alaa Zeineldine
Egypt
Local time: 02:52
Member (2002)
English to Arabic
+ ...
| Not at all a side issue | Mar 4, 2005 |
JeffZ wrote:
A side issue is whether it is "kosher" to only thank those who agree with you - I would say definitely not.
Thank you Jeff (I mean it), this point is consistenly being missed and it is not clear to me why. This is not a side issue, it is the issue. Edward tried to make it clear by a practical example, I tried by asking almost the same question you ask, "is it polite to thank only those who support your point of view?" The recurring answer is: "yes it is ok/polite/nice to say thank you." But everybody knows that, everyone learned this at home, at school, boyscouts, at the store, on the bus, etc. And no, it is not a cultural thing, it is universally accepted that saying thank you is good.
The question is whether this selective thank you is proper, polite, or constructive?
Alaa
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