Dec 25, 2021 07:49
2 yrs ago
23 viewers *
Spanish term
los galopes de los caballos que se alejaban
Spanish to English
Art/Literary
Poetry & Literature
Literature.
I would like to know the best translation of this phrase from Latin American Spanish into American English. Translator colleagues from Spain, feel free to send me your suggestions as well. This is a translation about the story of Ali Baba and the 40 thieves.
Here is the full paragraph for your review:
Estaban fuera arrestando a los ladrones, y al parecer lo habían conseguido, porque se escucharon los galopes de los caballos que se alejaban en dirección a la ciudad.
“””Pero Alí babá se preguntaba si el ladrón que estaba con él había sido también arrestado ya que aunque la entrada de la cueva había permanecido cerrada, no había escuchado moverse al bandido en ningún momento. Con mucha calma, fue caminando hacia....
Here is the full paragraph for your review:
Estaban fuera arrestando a los ladrones, y al parecer lo habían conseguido, porque se escucharon los galopes de los caballos que se alejaban en dirección a la ciudad.
“””Pero Alí babá se preguntaba si el ladrón que estaba con él había sido también arrestado ya que aunque la entrada de la cueva había permanecido cerrada, no había escuchado moverse al bandido en ningún momento. Con mucha calma, fue caminando hacia....
Proposed translations
+2
1 hr
Selected
the sound of galloping horses fading away as they headed towards the city.
Sometimes to put it in English you need to reshuffle the whole sentence rather than just picking up the segment you chose.
Note from asker:
Thanks Miss Simone. I'm sorry about the delay. I'm experiencing many problems with my internet. |
Peer comment(s):
neutral |
Andrew Bramhall
: "fading into the distance" would be better, given that ' alejarse' is in the original text;//No a neutral because your version could imply the horses are dying of starvation! It's the SOUND of their hooves which is fading away! Nobody is ganging up on you
1 hr
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Seriuosly, a neutral because you think I should add something redundant that is not there?
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agree |
Taña Dalglish
: Your rendering is fine, IMO - "fading away"/into the distance" ...
8 hrs
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Yes, Tana, but a redundancy is not enough for giving me a neutral, they could give me an agree like you.
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neutral |
ormiston
: It's not the sound fading - it's the horses themselves heading off...
12 hrs
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You two are clearly ganging up on me for no reason, there is nothing wrong with my sentence, and the ganging up is not only on this thread.
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agree |
Marcelo González
: A slight change in perspective may be fine; in fact, in their influential work in translation, Vinay and Darbelnet (1958) call it "modulation," resulting in “a variation of the form of the message, obtained by a change in the point of view” (133).
2 days 17 hrs
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Not to mention the original is ambiguous and render both interpretations.
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thanks a lot."
1 hr
The sound of horses' hooves
..., because they heard the sound of horses' hooves heading / trailing off in the direction of the city;
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Note added at 1 hr (2021-12-25 09:14:55 GMT)
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The sense of 'alejarse' is 'retreating', in general terms.
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Note added at 1 hr (2021-12-25 09:14:55 GMT)
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The sense of 'alejarse' is 'retreating', in general terms.
Note from asker:
Thanks a lot. |
+2
3 hrs
They heard the horses galloping away
¡Felices fiestas!
Note from asker:
Thanks Ormiston. Merry Christmas!! |
Peer comment(s):
agree |
Barbara Cochran, MFA
: Or "galloping off, in the direction, etc."
2 hrs
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Agree - off towards...
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agree |
Marcelo González
: This sticks nicely to the source text 'point of view' while producing what may be the 'closest natural equivalent' here. :-) That said, changes in point of view may be fine as well, when deemed appropriate, hence my agree with Simone's suggestion, too.
2 days 15 hrs
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3 days 22 hrs
the galloping horses disappeared in the distance
According to the narrative:
'The thieves were arrested, police on horseback went away to the city. Meanwhile, AliBaba wondered if the one who he'd been with had also been arrested, while the entrance to the cave remained closed, with no sound of any movement.'
'Los ladrones fueron arrestados, la guardía a caballo fue hacia la ciudad. Mientras tanto, AliBaba se preguntaba si arrestaron también al uno con quien había estado, y la entrada de la cueva se quedó cerrada sin ningún sonido ni movimiento.'
'The thieves were arrested, police on horseback went away to the city. Meanwhile, AliBaba wondered if the one who he'd been with had also been arrested, while the entrance to the cave remained closed, with no sound of any movement.'
'Los ladrones fueron arrestados, la guardía a caballo fue hacia la ciudad. Mientras tanto, AliBaba se preguntaba si arrestaron también al uno con quien había estado, y la entrada de la cueva se quedó cerrada sin ningún sonido ni movimiento.'
Note from asker:
Thanks Lisa. |
Reference comments
1 hr
Reference:
The horses gallop that ran away
to move away
to walk away
alejarse de algo/algn - https://www.lexico.com/es-en/traducir/alejar
to move away
to walk away
alejarse de algo/algn - https://www.lexico.com/es-en/traducir/alejar
Note from asker:
Thanks a lot. |
Peer comments on this reference comment:
neutral |
Andrew Bramhall
: Right idea, but not idiomatic;//"set off at a gallop" is fine!
15 mins
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The cowboys set off at a gallop - https://www.ingles.com/traductor/galope
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Discussion
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