Nikki Scott-Despaigne Dec 25, 2011:

"could" is conditional but your original has no conditional other than the conditional past of "aurait voulu".

"serai" is either future simple or simple past, not conditional.
"seraiS" is conditional.

The other verbs are :

“est attiré” = passive voice, simple present of ‘attirer’ = is attracted
alternatively, simple present of the expression « être attire par » = is attracted to (the expression being drawn from the passive voice)

“[sa gourmandise et sa sensualité] la poussent… » = simple
present of ‘pousser’ = push her (literally). Active voice here which could of course be rendered by the passive voice in English.

“elle aurait voulu” = conditional past (conditional of the auxiliary modal °+ past participle of main verb) = would have liked

“Adam sut = past historic/simple past of the verb ‘savoir’

That's the way I read the originals. It is a starting point. However, there is often justification for adopting a different mood set depending on how you want to render the overall mood. I see no reason to do that here. In any event, the relationship between the bits of the text has to be respected.

Kelly Harrison (asker) Dec 25, 2011:

Sorted then Thank you Michele, and Nikki, I forgot to ask, where is the problem with my tenses? To my mind, the could is conditional, much like serai/serais... ?

Nikki Scott-Despaigne Dec 25, 2011:

Michèle is right about the existence of 'voraciousness'. It exists in French too of course, 'voracité'. However, as 'gourmandise' can be likened to 'friandise', someone who is 'gourmand' is French being someone who has a sweet tooth, I do not think that here your original is tending towards the gluttony end of the scale here! Voraciousness cetainly exists and is much more elegant and much finer than gluttony, but I still see nothing wrong with retaining the 'greed' of the original. If you really want to know, then do bear in mind that 'gourmand' does have sexual overtones in some circumstances, 'gluttony' and 'voraciousness' turn it into something a little obsessional.

Kelly Harrison (asker) Dec 25, 2011:

Oh la boulette! Indeed it is!, I obviously had my languages the wrong way round on wordref and collins was in thesaurus mode (doh), too much christmas maybe! So yes, today it DOES indeed exsist as a word, :o) and could be the one I am looking for... Nikki: what do you think? This is a numerology report, based first names - www.signification-prenom.com ... Merry Christmas to All!

Michele Fauble Dec 25, 2011:

'Voraciousness' does exist as a word. See my added note (dictionary reference) and the attested usage of "voraciousness and sensuality".

Nikki Scott-Despaigne Dec 25, 2011:

Context. In context, I assumed Adam was a character in the piece you are translating, not that it was a reference to Adam, as in Eve. ;-)

In fact, perhaps more context would help. What is this "active number" business? Is this anything to do with astrology by any chance? If this is the context, then I would probably get to grips with your choice of tense a little better. But now, I'm going to bed. Maybe Father Christmas will have the answers in your stocking tomorrow morning!

Kelly Harrison (asker) Dec 24, 2011:

A-dam all that for an apple Hmmm... In any case Adam wasn't greedy, he was impressionable and probably quite fancied an apple anyway... Did you know that in sumerien adam means "cattle": Il n'est pas étonnant de remarquer que le terme sumérien Á-DAM englobe les définitions suivantes : "animaux" ; "bêtes" ; "troupeaux" ; "troupes enrôlées" ; "colonisation" ; "infliger"…

http://www.karmapolis.be/pipeline/anton_parks2_2.htm

I just think "greedy" sounds "piggish", or at least that's the schema that I seem to have in mind - but maybe it's just me...

Nikki Scott-Despaigne Dec 24, 2011:

On the one hand, in everyday spoken French "il en sait quelque chose!" is an expression you hear to mean something along the lines of "He knows all about it!", in the sense of the person really knows what the other one is talking about, or really knows the situation well. It is an exclamation, a reference to being familiar with the situation oneself. "Adam understood" is an undertranslation in my view.

On the other hand, "Overwhelming desire for more" sounds like an overtranslation to me. Impulsiveness (-ivity) is already mentioned so "overwhelming" goes beyond the original and also leads you to a more explicitly suggestive tone. If you keep "greediness", there is suggestion without suggestiveness! Sensual, sexy perhaps less sexual...

This is just my opinion, my reading and so on, which may not suit the style you have adopted elsewhere.

Kelly Harrison (asker) Dec 24, 2011:

DOES it sound too sexy???

Kelly Harrison (asker) Dec 24, 2011:

"Adam understood"? I really don't like "greed" or "greediness" though, what do you think of "overwhelming desire for more"?

Nikki Scott-Despaigne Dec 24, 2011:

"Adam en sut quelque chose..."
Just a note to say that this is in the simple past, not the conditional past (or conditional anterior). It should therefore be rendered as "knew" not "would have known". However, I can see how you may opt for the verb 'understand' rather than 'known'.
Just realised that the choice of "could" seems odd too particularly as you use "can" later on, but it is probably a matter of context.