Glossary entry (derived from question below)
French term or phrase:
soin fonctionnel activateur
English translation:
active lash-boosting eye care
Added to glossary by
Sonia Geerlings
Apr 26, 2015 21:52
9 yrs ago
French term
United Kingdom
Business & Creative Translations
Native in: English
Works in: French to English, Spanish to English, English
soin fonctionnel activateur
French to English
Marketing
Cosmetics, Beauty
Hi all,
This phrase appears on the packaging for an eyelash serum that encourages eyelash growth/thickening. It appears in a list like this:
- efficacité cliniquement prouvée
- soin fonctionnel activateur
- sans irritation, ni sècheresse oculaire
Obviously I know what the words mean individually, but I'm a bit stumped as to how to fit them all together in a way that looks natural on the front of the product's packaging. Suggestions welcome! :)
This phrase appears on the packaging for an eyelash serum that encourages eyelash growth/thickening. It appears in a list like this:
- efficacité cliniquement prouvée
- soin fonctionnel activateur
- sans irritation, ni sècheresse oculaire
Obviously I know what the words mean individually, but I'm a bit stumped as to how to fit them all together in a way that looks natural on the front of the product's packaging. Suggestions welcome! :)
Proposed translations
(English)
| 4 +1 | active lash-boosting eye care |
Sonia Geerlings
|
| 3 | enhancement/performance activator aid (benefit) |
Verginia Ophof
|
| 3 | high-performance growth stimulating treatment |
Sheri P
|
Change log
May 2, 2015 06:16: Sonia Geerlings Created KOG entry
Proposed translations
+1
5 hrs
Sonia Geerlings
Australia
Australia
Native in English
Specializes in field
Australia
Cosmetics, Tourism & Marketing - NAATI
Native in: English 
Works in: French to English, English
Related KudoZ points
:
11
Selected
active lash-boosting eye care
There are 10 billion ways you could spin this...
3 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thanks for your suggestions! :)"
53 mins
Verginia Ophof
Belize
Belize
Native in English
Belize
Near Native Proficiency in Source langua
Native in: English
Works in: Portuguese to English, Dutch to English, French to English
Related KudoZ points
:
16
enhancement/performance activator aid (benefit)
suggestion
Reference:
Peer comment(s):
| neutral |
writeaway
: un soin doesn't translate into English as 'aid'. try treatment....
50 mins
|
|
thank you !
|
3 hrs
high-performance growth stimulating treatment
Maybe it would work to use the adjectival 'high-performance' for 'fonctionnel'?
IQ Natural's innovative high-performance serum formulated with Keratinocyte Growth Factor (KGF) ...
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Eyelash-Growth-Serum-Accelerat...
I think 'activateur' is referring to the serum's growth-activating or growth-stimulating properties. IMO it would sound odd in EN if the word 'growth' were not included.
The prescriptivist in me would put two hyphens ('high-performance growth-stimulating treatment'), but that's probably overkill in a packaging context.
For simplicity's sake, I wonder if you could just do away with the word 'treatment' and say something like 'high-performance growth stimulator'. Another thing that crossed my mind is that, in similar contexts in EN, we would be more likely to use the word 'formula' rather than 'treatment', but perhaps that would be stretching the translation too far ('high-performance growth stimulating formula').
IQ Natural's innovative high-performance serum formulated with Keratinocyte Growth Factor (KGF) ...
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Eyelash-Growth-Serum-Accelerat...
I think 'activateur' is referring to the serum's growth-activating or growth-stimulating properties. IMO it would sound odd in EN if the word 'growth' were not included.
The prescriptivist in me would put two hyphens ('high-performance growth-stimulating treatment'), but that's probably overkill in a packaging context.
For simplicity's sake, I wonder if you could just do away with the word 'treatment' and say something like 'high-performance growth stimulator'. Another thing that crossed my mind is that, in similar contexts in EN, we would be more likely to use the word 'formula' rather than 'treatment', but perhaps that would be stretching the translation too far ('high-performance growth stimulating formula').
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