Nov 19, 2019 15:47
4 yrs ago
2 viewers *
English term
emotional consistency
English
Other
General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters
parenting
Dear colleagues,
I was wondering about the meaning of “emotional consistency” in the passage below taken from a US parenting book.
After reading some material, I feel it seems to convey the idea of "emotional stability" (self-control) as well as of the ability to tune in to the child’s emotions so as to give “coherent” responses to those emotions. Might this expression have this twofold meaning?
This is the book where I’ve found a possible explanation of “emotionally consistent”:
https://books.google.it/books?id=52ISBQAAQBAJ&pg=PA110&lpg=P...
Thank you very much for your help!
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A related objection we hear when we discuss the importance of *** emotional consistency *** from parents has to do with earning a child’s respect. One parent will often tell us that her spouse objects to the strategy of connecting with a child before addressing behavioral issues. He might say, “They’re never going to respect you when you let them walk all over you like that. You need to be harsh sometimes. At times you even need to yell.” And she fears he’s right.
We do agree with this father that parents shouldn’t allow kids to “walk all over them.” It is indeed important that parents remain the authorities in the relationship—you’ve heard us say so throughout the book. But our position, based on science and experience, is that parents can maintain authority while prioritizing the relationship and maintaining self-control.
When parents are yelling and reactive, commanding and demanding, having lost control of themselves, how does that earn respect from a child? It’s much more likely to come when you stay in charge of your emotions, when you remain thoughtful, measured, calm, and fair-minded. That’s strength, not weakness.
I was wondering about the meaning of “emotional consistency” in the passage below taken from a US parenting book.
After reading some material, I feel it seems to convey the idea of "emotional stability" (self-control) as well as of the ability to tune in to the child’s emotions so as to give “coherent” responses to those emotions. Might this expression have this twofold meaning?
This is the book where I’ve found a possible explanation of “emotionally consistent”:
https://books.google.it/books?id=52ISBQAAQBAJ&pg=PA110&lpg=P...
Thank you very much for your help!
***********************
A related objection we hear when we discuss the importance of *** emotional consistency *** from parents has to do with earning a child’s respect. One parent will often tell us that her spouse objects to the strategy of connecting with a child before addressing behavioral issues. He might say, “They’re never going to respect you when you let them walk all over you like that. You need to be harsh sometimes. At times you even need to yell.” And she fears he’s right.
We do agree with this father that parents shouldn’t allow kids to “walk all over them.” It is indeed important that parents remain the authorities in the relationship—you’ve heard us say so throughout the book. But our position, based on science and experience, is that parents can maintain authority while prioritizing the relationship and maintaining self-control.
When parents are yelling and reactive, commanding and demanding, having lost control of themselves, how does that earn respect from a child? It’s much more likely to come when you stay in charge of your emotions, when you remain thoughtful, measured, calm, and fair-minded. That’s strength, not weakness.
Responses
+6
3 mins
Selected
always be consistent in emotional response...
"... stay in charge of your emotions, when you remain thoughtful, measured, calm, and fair-minded."
be constant rather than changeable
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Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:53:40 GMT)
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"parents can maintain authority while prioritizing the relationship and maintaining self-control"
so yes, parents shouldn't be "yelling and reactive, commanding and demanding, having lost control of themselves" at all but remain in contriol of their own emotions
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Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:54:08 GMT)
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control!
be constant rather than changeable
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Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:53:40 GMT)
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"parents can maintain authority while prioritizing the relationship and maintaining self-control"
so yes, parents shouldn't be "yelling and reactive, commanding and demanding, having lost control of themselves" at all but remain in contriol of their own emotions
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 mins (2019-11-19 15:54:08 GMT)
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control!
Note from asker:
Thank you very much, Yvonne! |
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Dear Yvonne, thank you so much for your help!
Many thanks also to all other participants, especially Milica for the useful link
"
13 mins
purposely choosing how you are going to engage with or respond to your child and sticking with that
In terms of parenting, consistency may be tied to how you connect with your child emotionally or how your family operates with getting things done. On the emotional side, consistency means purposely choosing how you are going to engage with or respond to your child, and not varying with that choice over time.
Note from asker:
Thank you very much, Milica, for your help and the useful link! |
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