Glossary entry (derived from question below)
Jan 3 14:46
10 mos ago
61 viewers *
French term
fardeau
French to English
Marketing
Marketing
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I have translated a marketing text, which plays on the word "fardeau", against the model/brand name, which sounds exactly the same when spoken, but is spelt differently (ending "...do".
I used the term "burden" to replace fardeau, although I was quite loose in most of the other marketing terminology, hot words and phrasing, given the marketing requirement. The client has come back complaining that I should have been looser in my translation of the "fardeau" word-play areas, given that the English readership would not understand the playing together of these terms.
The overall text described the ways that the product (a wrist watch) can ease the burdens (fardeau) of our lives. The entire text plays these two terms together (i.e. the identical sounds of the "brand name" and "fardeau")
I have suggested that a transcreation expert or English copywriter be used to re-write this text, but in the meantime, are there any good equivalent word plays I could use here? (or should I just tell client it is inappropriate for a translator to re-write marketing copy)...?
I used the term "burden" to replace fardeau, although I was quite loose in most of the other marketing terminology, hot words and phrasing, given the marketing requirement. The client has come back complaining that I should have been looser in my translation of the "fardeau" word-play areas, given that the English readership would not understand the playing together of these terms.
The overall text described the ways that the product (a wrist watch) can ease the burdens (fardeau) of our lives. The entire text plays these two terms together (i.e. the identical sounds of the "brand name" and "fardeau")
I have suggested that a transcreation expert or English copywriter be used to re-write this text, but in the meantime, are there any good equivalent word plays I could use here? (or should I just tell client it is inappropriate for a translator to re-write marketing copy)...?
Proposed translations
(English)
Proposed translations
+2
1 day 20 hrs
Selected
Rewrite
I wouldn't get too bogged down in all that 'fardeau' stuff. It's just a 'clever' connection that works in French but not in English. At the end of the day, the client surely just wants something suitable in English that will have a similar effect. You can only really do this by looking at the text as a whole. But anything to do with watches is pretty amenable to word plays/variants on common expressions in English. E.g., 'running fashionably on time'; 'step up your watch'; 'because time matters', etc, etc. Matching the voice with the brand is what matters (no use putting something too brash or smart-alecky if the brand is upmarket and understated).
Peer comment(s):
agree |
ph-b
: Agreed with this when I read it, even before I saw Lara's post in the discussion.
1 hr
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agree |
Michele Fauble
6 hrs
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thank you."
1 hr
fast-forward to Fa-do; (rewind) the Heavy Hand(s) of Fate
No brand-name give-away, but the Rolling Stones' Classic LP track of the Hand of Fate comes to mind.
There are also puns on factotum that original and creative thinkers can explore.
Otherwise, the Portuguese 'Fado' lament has an inbuilt ending of -do.
.. (or should I just tell client it is inappropriate for a translator to re-write marketing copy)...? We can argue about that until the cows come home but, as a general rule of thumb, yes..
There are also puns on factotum that original and creative thinkers can explore.
Otherwise, the Portuguese 'Fado' lament has an inbuilt ending of -do.
.. (or should I just tell client it is inappropriate for a translator to re-write marketing copy)...? We can argue about that until the cows come home but, as a general rule of thumb, yes..
Example sentence:
...quelle face donc vais-je lui sculpter ? *fardeau du fado* (nous pleurons). nostalgie à distance. soit. étrange tout de même. que mes lèvres soient salées.
raditional Portuguese songs, also known as Fado, speak of life, struggle and passion. The genre originated in Portugal in the early 1800's ...
Peer comment(s):
neutral |
Daryo
: I doubt any French brand would want to be associated with Portugal, nor this particular one with fado.
2 hrs
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+2
2 hrs
For peace of mind on the go, you've got your XX-do / Stay calm on the go, you've got your XX-do.
Just some shots in the dark...
Peer comment(s):
neutral |
Andrew Bramhall
: and sadly they missed their target;
4 hrs
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agree |
Annette Fehr
: Sounds very natural.
16 hrs
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Thanks, Annette.
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agree |
abe(L)solano
18 hrs
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Thanks, abe.
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3 hrs
load
I find "load" more suitable as it better represents the meaning of the wrist watch on our lives.
Peer comment(s):
neutral |
Emmanuella
: Load , une personne ?
21 mins
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neutral |
Andrew Bramhall
: Not exactly correct but still more realistic than AMM's baleful, doleful and wistful lament;
2 hrs
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Reference comments
4 mins
Reference:
comment
You need to post as much context in French. Please do so.
Note from asker:
See discussion box. I don't want to leave this link up for ever, but hopefully for a short time will help ....! |
Peer comments on this reference comment:
agree |
Carol Gullidge
38 mins
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agree |
Emmanuella
1 hr
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disagree |
Adrian MM.
: enough context has been provided and there is a confidentiality issue at stake.
1 hr
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agree |
writeaway
1 hr
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Discussion
N.B Citer l'orthographe 'phonétique'
Star with "A burden, or "Fardeau" (pronounced Fardo) in French, is [...]" and then simply translate the text as it is.
It's like trying to translate into French some advert for Karrimore full of wordplay with "carry more" - simply not feasible.
If they want to sell their wares in non-French speaking countries, the smart wordplay "fardo / fardeau" is NEVER going to mean anything to potential buyers, whichever way you twist this ST. They should've thought of it BEFORE choosing the brand name, they've painted themselves in the corner.
Le client a-t-il remarqué que ce texte est bourré de fautes ( orthographe, syntaxe...) ?
The client does not like my use of "burden" but I cannot find a similar link between the brand/model name and the object of discussion in English - I responded that this is not possible because the entire text is based on the French word connection. Does this sound reasonable.?
Je ne sais, It's not your grandpa's Jet set, Milan, Pairs, Toykyo, simplify modern busy life with XXX. Inject sophistication with Jpaanes driving Rolls Royce.
Possibiltee search under クロノグラフ、時計 cronograph time piece, TAO, MT, trans, note use of high register vocabulary, time piece instead of watch and so on.