Victor Dewsbery May 5, 2005:

I suppose that answers your apostrophe question ;--)))))

Non-ProZ.com May 5, 2005:

HEAVEN'S TEST
>
> The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
> He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates
> are
> closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
>
> St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have
> heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling
> up
> fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
> The
> test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
>
> Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But
> nobody
> ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard;
> life was a big enough test as it was."
>
> St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
> questions.
>
> First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
>
> Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
>
> Third: What is God's first name?"
>
> Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next
> day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have
> had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
>
> Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week
> begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today
> and Tomorrow.
>
> The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not
> what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't
> specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next
> one?" asks St.Peter.
>
> "How many seconds in a year?"
>
> "Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that
> and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
>
> Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name
> could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
>
> Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February
> 2nd, March 2nd. . ."
>
> "Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and
> I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.....but I'll
> have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the third and
> final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
>
> "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
>
> "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
> understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,
> but
> just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name
> of God?"
>
> "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it
> from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I
> AM
> HIS OWN. . . "
>
> St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."

Victor Dewsbery May 5, 2005:

Sorry Tom. Didn't mean to get on your nerves. I often see the "funny side" (and sometimes share jokes like this with agencies about their end clients), and I sometimes forget that not everybody shares my brand of humour.

Michael McWilliam May 4, 2005:

Sorry, there just wasn't much information on this.

Non-ProZ.com May 4, 2005:

There's nothing wrong with this client. I queried this passage immediately. They responded promptly and factually. Question. Answer. Basta. No polemics necessary. Tom

Victor Dewsbery May 4, 2005:

Reminds me of the accountant's job interviews. Boss asks each candidate "what's 2 plus 2?" Candidate 1: "4". Rejected. Candidate 2: "5". Rejected. Candidate 3: "What sort of figure did you have in mind, sir?". He got the job.

Victor Dewsbery May 4, 2005:

... or they want the ultimate perfection in a translation - the original is confused and ambiguous, and they want a translation with the same degree of confusion and ambiguity. (Why do I suddenly think of chimps typing Shakespeare?)

Victor Dewsbery May 4, 2005:

Do I read you right? The client is a German company, the document is in German, the figures are in their line of business (or even their own figures), and they want YOU TO TELL THEM what the figures in their German original mean? Who are they kidding?

Non-ProZ.com May 4, 2005:

Addendum to Victor: Victor, I'm just as uncomfortable with that notation -- be it Swiss or German or whatever -- as you and most of the responders. In fact I've run across this before, some years ago. But it's hard to sift through a gigabyte of online glossaries for an APOSTROPHE - even with context. Tom

Non-ProZ.com May 4, 2005:

Victor, the client is a very large German company. The feedback is from a team leader of this client's translation organization. Tom

Non-ProZ.com May 4, 2005:

The 'client' is a very large German comapny.

Non-ProZ.com May 4, 2005:

Trudy, I agree! The 'feedback' I mentioned was from the German client:
>>One apostrophe (') means million, two apostrophes (") means billion<<
I sent 3 terminology questions to the client at the same time I launched the prior one on this subject on KudoZ. Tom

Thanks a lot to all helpers! Tom

Victor Dewsbery May 3, 2005:

Apostrophe in numbers is not used in Germany: cf. http://www.quality.de/lexikon/schreibweise_von_zahlen.htm (which says it is Swiss). And I've never heard of the thousands/millions theory. Is it an urban legend, or do you have a **real** reference for it?

Trudy Peters May 3, 2005:

I have seen that, too. Sometimes you can tell from the context, but it's best to ask the client.